Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Should I pay if I Go out on a Date with a Woman?

I am pretty sure that every guy has this question in his min d, “should I pay for her meals when we are out on a date?” In this post, I will talk about the topic of paying for things for women.

This includes paying for dinners, flowers, taking her out for a show, buying her gifts, etc. Most guys feel obliged to pay for women whenever they are out with them. They will feel obliged to buy them gifts if they are wooing them.

Now my question for you is: “Should you pay?” Before you answer my questions, I believed that the reason behind paying for women is probably guys want something in return. For example, they will want to leave a good impression in the eyes of their dates.

But the fact is, if you pay for things for women that you have just met or don’t know, you will send a signal to them that you are trying too hard and will instinctively play hard to get with you. Attractive women are very perceptive. They can usually size up a guy in a matter of seconds. Women instantly recognize it when they are dealing with a man who feels the need to “buy her attention” and they usually will play hard to get with him.

Therefore the intention behind the actions of paying for women is very important. You cannot let your woman thinks that you are using paying for things as “baits” or “bribes”.

Consider the following 2 ways to when you want to ask a woman out for a dinner.

  1. “Can I take you out for a dinner this weekend?”
  2. “I am thinking of going out for dinner this weekend at one of my favourite restaurant, and you should join me.”

The first way implies that you are TAKING her to dinner. The second way implies that you are living your own life, doing your own things, and if she would like to come along, she is welcome. The second way clearly does not make you sound like a needy guy who needs her company and therefore want to pay for her dinner as “baits” to ask her out.

It will be much better to allow her to feel attracted to you, without the distraction and expense. You will not need to be paying all the things for women if you want to be successful in relationships.

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